You know that moment when someone starts a story with a long-winded, “So basically, what happened was…” and by the time that person gets to the point, you’ve mentally checked out?
That’s what happens to readers when you bury your ideas under layers of fluff.
Always remember that the mind wants a straight path. However, in such a scenario, readers’ minds get detours, disclaimers, and half a dozen signposts before arriving at the main idea.
This problem is more common—and more serious—than most writers realize.
Thankfully, Joseph Bizup and Joseph M. Williams expose this issue well in their book, “Style: Lessons in Clarity and Grace.”
With surgical precision and a keen sense of reader psychology, these authors reveal how your sentence beginnings can either guide your readers or lead them straight into a fog.
Clearing the Throat (Too Much)
One of the most overlooked habits in writing is what Bizup and Williams call “throat-clearing”—those overly polite, hesitant, or roundabout ways writers tend to begin their sentences.
Think about how many times you’ve seen or written phrases like:
“Therefore, it is important to note that, in recent years…”
By the time the actual subject—the point of the sentence—arrives, the reader is already slogging through a thicket of metadiscourse, attitude indicators, and time/place markers.
In this case, the problem isn’t just wordiness but also distraction.
Always keep in mind that readers crave clarity, and that clarity starts at the beginning of a sentence.
This means when you delay the subject, you delay your readers’ understanding.
Bizup and Williams emphasize that the start of your sentence sets the direction for your entire paragraph. If you waste that moment with unnecessary setup, you lose your readers’ focus before you’ve had a chance to make your case.
That’s sad, isn’t it?
So, to fix the issue, Bizup and Williams advise a simple but powerful strategy:
Identify the things you’re writing about and name them early.
Your subjects should be clear, familiar, and ideally, the main “characters” in your narrative.
This doesn’t mean every sentence must march to the same beat, but your topics—those recurring “who” or “what” ideas—should at least stay consistent across a passage.
That’s how readers understand not just a sentence, but the entire flow of an argument.
Take this sentence for example:
“Since 1980, therefore, acid rain has become a serious problem in the Eastern states.”
The subject, “acid rain,” is introduced almost immediately, letting the reader know what to focus on.
The idea is clean. Additionally, the structure is transparent.
Now, some of you might be asking:
“Isn’t that boring?”
Many of you might have heard that familiar echo of advice:
“Vary your sentence beginnings!”
According to Bizup and Williams, this is one of the most misunderstood pieces of writing guidance.
Yes, variety can be engaging—but only when it doesn’t sacrifice clarity. Besides, changing your sentence structure just for the sake of novelty can confuse your reader and obscure your message.
Take this example:
“Moral climate” is created when an objectivized moral standard for treating people is accepted by others. Moral climate results from norms of behavior that are accepted by society… A moral climate encourages individuals…
To a self-editing writer, this might look repetitive… but to a reader, it might look coherent.
Why?
It’s because the topic remains the same, and such a consistency builds understanding.
However, if it feels too monotonous for your liking, Bizup and Williams suggest light variation—not in the topic itself, but in how you refer to it.
So, instead of repeating “moral climate” four times, alternate with “this climate” or “morality.”
The bottom line is, it’s about balance, not change for its own sake.
Another common trap is the overuse of connecting words like “however,” “thus,” “indeed,” or “therefore.” Many writers sprinkle them throughout their work in an attempt to manufacture logical flow.
However, as Bizup and Williams show, these words don’t guarantee coherence—they often just give the illusion of it.
Take this patchwork of transitions:
“Because the press is the major medium… Therefore… However… Also… Hence… Indeed…”
At first glance, it feels connected… but read closely, and the logic falls apart.
The relationships between the ideas aren’t clear.
The transitions are doing the heavy lifting because the sentences themselves aren’t carrying their own weight.
According to Bizup and Williams, strong writing relies less on connectors and more on the actual progression of ideas.
When one thought naturally leads to another, you don’t need “moreover” or “in fact” to hold it all together.
After all, cohesion comes from substance, not style tricks.
So, what’s the takeaway here?
Bizup and Williams make it crystal clear:
If you want to write with clarity and grace, start by cleaning up your sentence openings.
Avoid the filler.
Get to the point.
Keep your topics visible and your transitions meaningful.
Keep in mind that it’s not about writing simply; it’s about writing in a way that readers can simply understand.
So, the next time you sit down to write, listen for the “throat-clearing.”
Then, cut it.
Find your subject early.
Name your ideas plainly.
Trust your reader to follow a path that’s clear from the very first step.
After all, in writing—as in life—the shortest route to connection is a straight line.
Happy midweek, everyone!
About The Dynamic Marketing Communiqué’s
“Wednesdays: Write with the Pen of the Masters”
Who doesn’t find content writing to be a skill that requires a lot of practice and effort?
In fact, many people may even find copywriting very intimidating.
However, you can be a good writer as long as you have the right tools. You won’t always get things right the first time, but with enough time and practice, you’ll get the hang of it!
When you write copy for any brand or for your company, your aim is to make an impact and…
… to get people to remember.
Getting people to remember means getting consumers to buy your product or avail of your service.
… and when you get your content to deliver the results you want, THAT is great copy!
Every Wednesday, we publish content based on tips and insights from the masters of content writing, copywriting, and storytelling.
Become more familiar with ways to write great copy that helps you gain ROI from your efforts, drive profitability, and achieve your business goals.
Learn time-tested tactics that better capture the attention of your target audience, and maximize the benefits of great copywriting.
Hope you find this week’s insights interesting and helpful.
Stay tuned for next Wednesday’s “Write with the Pen of the Masters!”
Cheers,
Dyane Diasanta
Senior Content Writer
Valens Dynamic Marketing Capabilities
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