A great story captivates us because we see people taking action.
Whether in novels, movies, or even a simple anecdote from a friend, clear and compelling narratives center around characters who do things.
Yet, when it comes to writing, especially in academic or professional contexts, this fundamental principle often gets lost in a fog of abstract language.
Instead of dynamic characters performing actions, many writers inadvertently bury meaning beneath layers of unnecessary words, making their sentences harder to read and understand.
The Power of Characters in Writing
We all know that readers crave clarity, and nothing provides it more effectively than sentences that clearly define who is doing what.
Compare these two sentences:
- The CIA feared the president would recommend to Congress that it reduce its budget.
- The CIA had fears that the president would send a recommendation to Congress that it make a reduction in its budget.
The first is more direct because key actions (feared, recommend, reduce) are in the verbs, while the second buries the action in abstract nouns (fears, recommendation, reduction).
However, things can get even worse:
- The fear of the CIA was that a recommendation from the president to Congress would be for a reduction in its budget.
This sentence turns what should be a straightforward idea into a cumbersome and impersonal statement, making it harder for readers to follow.
Always remember that readers process information more efficiently when the main actors (or characters) in a sentence serve as the subjects of verbs.
That’s why when sentences obscure characters—whether by turning actions into nouns or by omitting the actors altogether—they become dense, confusing, and impersonal.
At worst, they force readers to guess who is doing what.
So, what can you do to write clearly?
According to Joseph Bizup and Joseph M. Williams in the book, “Style: Lessons in Clarity and Grace,” you must first recognize when subjects aren’t actual characters. Here’s how:
- Identify the first few words of the sentence. If the subject isn’t a clear character, the sentence may need revision.
- Look for hidden characters. They may be embedded in possessive pronouns (e.g., “governmental” implies “government”), prepositional phrases (e.g., “of market evolution” hides “markets”), or nominalizations (e.g., “intervention” instead of “intervenes”).
- Uncover actions disguised as nouns. Words like “intervention” (intervenes), “distortion” (distorts), and “development” (develops) can often be converted back into verbs.
- Rewrite the sentence using character-action pairs. Ensure the key characters become the subjects of strong, active verbs.
For instance:
Governmental intervention in fast-changing technologies has led to the distortion of market evolution and interference in new product development.
It can be rewritten more clearly as:
When a government intervenes in fast-changing technologies, it distorts how markets evolve and interferes with their ability to develop new products.
This revision restores the character (government) as the subject and makes the actions (intervene, distort, interfere) explicit, improving clarity and readability.
The Danger of Missing or Abstract Characters
Here’s the thing: Sentences with unclear characters or subjects are one thing, and sentences with missing characters are another thing—they create greater confusion.
For example:
A decision was made in favor of doing a study of the disagreements.
If you’re the reader, you’d probably ask: “Who made the decision? Who will conduct the study?”
After all, without clear characters, readers are left guessing.
So, a clearer version might be:
We decided to study the reasons for their disagreements.
… or…
The research team decided to analyze the sources of the disagreement.
See? By specifying who is acting, the sentence becomes more transparent and easier to follow… and that’s what you should always aim for as a writer.
Making Writing More Reader-Friendly
According to Bizup and Williams in their book, the key to writing that is both clear and compelling is ensuring that characters—whether real people or abstract entities—take center stage.
So, when revising your sentences, consider these tips:
- Look at your sentence subjects. Are they clear characters, or are they abstract nouns?
- Identify hidden actions. Turn nouns back into verbs where possible.
- Avoid vague pronouns. If your sentence uses “one,” “we,” or “they” ambiguously, specify who is acting.
- Use strong, active verbs. Instead of “A recommendation was made,” write “The committee recommended.”
- Think of storytelling. Even in formal writing, sentences should flow naturally, with clear actors taking meaningful actions.
—
At its core, effective writing mirrors the way we process stories: We follow characters through their actions.
… and by ensuring that key subjects are real characters and that verbs carry the weight of the action, writers can make their ideas clearer, more persuasive, and more engaging.
So, whether you’re writing an academic paper, a business report, or a journalistic article, keep your characters in focus!
This will ensure that your writing remains sharp, readable, and impactful.
Happy midweek!
About The Dynamic Marketing Communiqué’s
“Wednesdays: Write with the Pen of the Masters”
Who doesn’t find content writing to be a skill that requires a lot of practice and effort?
In fact, many people may even find copywriting very intimidating.
However, you can be a good writer as long as you have the right tools. You won’t always get things right the first time, but with enough time and practice, you’ll get the hang of it!
When you write copy for any brand or for your company, your aim is to make an impact and…
… to get people to remember.
Getting people to remember means getting consumers to buy your product or avail of your service.
… and when you get your content to deliver the results you want, THAT is great copy!
Every Wednesday, we publish content based on tips and insights from the masters of content writing, copywriting, and storytelling.
Become more familiar with ways to write great copy that helps you gain ROI from your efforts, drive profitability, and achieve your business goals.
Learn time-tested tactics that better capture the attention of your target audience, and maximize the benefits of great copywriting.
Hope you find this week’s insights interesting and helpful.
Stay tuned for next Wednesday’s “Write with the Pen of the Masters!”
Cheers,
Dyane Diasanta
Senior Content Writer
Valens Dynamic Marketing Capabilities
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