Imagine sitting down to read an article, only to find yourself lost in a maze of words…
Instead of getting straight to the point, the writer tiptoes around it, stacking phrases like, “it is important to note that” or “the last point I would like to make is.”
Before long, the actual message gets buried under layers of verbal padding. You don’t come away enlightened; you come away exhausted.
This all-too-common problem in writing isn’t about having bad ideas but about having too many words in the way of those ideas.
That’s exactly where Joseph Bizup and Joseph M. Williams, in their book, “Style: Lessons in Clarity and Grace,” step in with sharp insights on how writers can trim the fat and let their arguments breathe.
The Sneaky Weight of Metadiscourse
Bizup and Williams describe “metadiscourse” as the language writers use to guide readers through a text, express intentions, or signal structure.
Phrases like “to sum up,” “as you can see,” or “the first thing to note” all fall into this category.
Some metadiscourse is necessary—it helps readers follow the flow of ideas. However, too much of it can smother the very point a writer is trying to make.
For example:
“The last point I would like to make is that in regard to men-women relationships, it is important to keep in mind that the greatest changes have occurred in how they work together.”
Out of 33 words, only 13 carry the real meaning. Stripped of excess, it becomes clearer:
“Men and women have changed their relationships most in how they work together.”
The difference between these sentences is striking. Instead of slogging through a swamp of introductions and qualifications, the reader reaches the heart of the matter almost instantly.
Here’s the thing, though:
Not all metadiscourse is created equal. Two types, in particular, deserve special caution:
Attribution Phrases – Writers often feel the need to announce when something has been “observed,” “noted,” or “determined.”
For instance:
“High divorce rates have been observed to occur in areas that have been determined to have low population density.”
Recast simply, the message is much stronger:
“High divorce rates occur in areas with low population density.”
Topic Announcements
– Another habit is prefacing sentences with “This section introduces…” or “The first thing to say about…”These signals weigh down the prose, when the idea itself is enough:
“Another problem is noise pollution. First, it exists not only…”
By removing unnecessary scaffolding, writers invite readers to engage directly with ideas rather than instructions.
Beyond structure, metadiscourse also shows up in the way writers express certainty—or lack thereof.
This is where hedges and intensifiers come into play.
Hedges such as “may,” “might,” “seems,” or “perhaps” signal caution. They allow a writer to present ideas without overstating certainty.
However, too much hedging can make prose sound timid or indecisive.
Intensifiers such as “clearly,” “undoubtedly,” “always,” or “key” swing the other way, amplifying confidence.
Used sparingly, they can add punch… but overused, they risk making a writer sound aggressive—or even unbelievable.
Bizup and Williams highlight the importance of balance.
A claim hedged too heavily feels weak, but one pushed with relentless intensifiers feels bulldozing.
Besides, moderation not only keeps writing credible but also fosters trust with readers.
Writing with Grace
The beauty of Bizup and Williams’ approach is its practicality. By pruning back unnecessary metadiscourse, writers don’t just shorten their sentences; they also sharpen their thinking.
In other words, a bloated sentence often hides a bloated idea, while a direct one forces clarity.
For example, instead of writing:
“In this study, I examine the history of Congressional legislation to protect children in the workplace.”
A stronger version would be:
“Congress has legislated to protect children in the workplace.”
If that statement feels obvious, it’s not a signal to add fluff. It’s a signal to push deeper, to sharpen the claim further.
—
At its core, “Style: Lessons in Clarity and Grace” is about respect—for both the reader’s time and the writer’s own ideas.
Bizup and Williams remind us that clarity isn’t about stripping personality from prose but about ensuring the reader never has to dig through verbal clutter to find meaning.
The lesson?
Write boldly, but not carelessly. Guide, but don’t handhold.
Hedge when necessary, intensify with care, and above all, cut the noise so the music of your ideas can be heard.
About The Dynamic Marketing Communiqué’s
“Wednesdays: Write with the Pen of the Masters”
Who doesn’t find content writing to be a skill that requires a lot of practice and effort?
In fact, many people may even find copywriting very intimidating.
However, you can be a good writer as long as you have the right tools. You won’t always get things right the first time, but with enough time and practice, you’ll get the hang of it!
When you write copy for any brand or for your company, your aim is to make an impact and…
… to get people to remember.
Getting people to remember means getting consumers to buy your product or avail of your service.
… and when you get your content to deliver the results you want, THAT is great copy!
Every Wednesday, we publish content based on tips and insights from the masters of content writing, copywriting, and storytelling.
Become more familiar with ways to write great copy that helps you gain ROI from your efforts, drive profitability, and achieve your business goals.
Learn time-tested tactics that better capture the attention of your target audience, and maximize the benefits of great copywriting.
Hope you find this week’s insights interesting and helpful.
Stay tuned for next Wednesday’s “Write with the Pen of the Masters!”
Cheers,
Dyane Diasanta
Senior Content Writer
Valens Dynamic Marketing Capabilities
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