Imagine you’re on a journey through a dense forest. The path is unclear, shrouded in fog, and every step feels like a struggle…
Now, picture the same journey, but this time the path is well-lit, marked with clear signs, and every step flows naturally…
Which journey would you prefer?
We bet you’d choose the latter!
See? This contrast mirrors how we experience writing—some texts feel like an uphill battle, while others effortlessly guide us to understanding.
The difference lies not just in the words themselves but in how they’re used.
Let’s dive into what makes writing clear and how small adjustments can turn convoluted sentences into beacons of understanding.
The Struggle Between CLARITY and COMPLEXITY
Consider these two sentences:
The cause of our schools’ failure at teaching basic skills is not understanding the influence of cultural background on learning.
Our schools have failed to teach basic skills because they do not understand how cultural background influences the way a child learns.
The first sentence feels dense, like wading through a muddy swamp.
The second? Clear and direct.
Here’s the thing: According to Joseph Bizup and Joseph M. Williams in the book, “Style: Lessons in Clarity and Grace,” when we call the first sentence “complex” and the second “clear,” we’re not describing the sentences themselves but how they make us feel.
Bizup and Williams also said that understanding the mechanics behind these feelings is the first step to mastering clarity.
Here’s how…
Always remember that clear writing hinges on two principles:
- Main characters should be the subjects of sentences.
- Important actions should be expressed as verbs.
Let’s see how these principles play out in the timeless story of “The Little Red Riding Hood.” Compare these two versions:
Once upon a time, as a walk through the woods was taking place on the part of Little Red Riding Hood, the Wolf’s jump out from behind a tree occurred, causing her fright.
Once upon a time, Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the woods, when the Wolf jumped out from behind a tree and frightened her.
In the first version, the main characters—Little Red Riding Hood and the Wolf—are buried under abstract nouns like “walk” and “jump.
Meanwhile, the second version brings the main characters to the forefront as subjects performing actions (“was walking,” “jumped,” and “frightened”).
The result?
A sentence that tells a story readers can easily follow.
Let’s dive deeper into the principles of clear writing as discussed in Bizup and Williams’ book…
Principle 1: Make Main Characters Subjects
Bizup and Williams stated that abstract subjects distance readers from the story.
For example:
Once upon a time, as a walk through the woods was taking place on the part of Little Red Riding Hood, the Wolf’s jump out from behind a tree occurred, causing her fright.
In this sentence, the abstract nouns (“walk” and “jump”) obscure the characters.
In contrast, the sentence below centers the characters as subjects:
Once upon a time, Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the woods, when the Wolf jumped out from behind a tree and frightened her.
Do you see the difference?
This shift transforms the sentence into an engaging narrative!
Principle 2: Make Important Actions Verbs
According to Bizup and Williams, actions lose their impact when buried as nouns (a process known as nominalization).
For instance:
Our lack of data prevented evaluation of United Nations (UN) actions in targeting funds to areas most in need of assistance.
Because we lacked data, we could not evaluate whether the United Nations (UN) had targeted funds to areas that most needed assistance.
In the first sentence, actions like “evaluation” and “targeting” are locked in abstract nouns. In the second sentence, those actions become dynamic verbs (“lacked,” “evaluate,” and “targeted”).
The result?
The second sentence was more vivid and accessible!
The Trap of Nominalizations
Nominalizations—nouns derived from verbs or adjectives—are often the culprits behind unclear writing.
Consider these transformations:
Verb nominalization: discover → discovery, resist → resistance
Adjective nominalization: careless → carelessness, different → difference
For example:
“We request that you review the data.”
“Our request is that you do a review of the data.”
The latter feels heavier and less direct because of the added nominalizations (“request” and “review”).
So, to write with clarity:
- Identify the main characters in your sentences and make them subjects.
- Turn abstract nouns back into verbs where possible.
- Use dynamic verbs to express key actions.
According to Bizup and Williams, when you align characters with subjects and actions with verbs, your writing gains clarity and momentum.
With that, readers will follow your ideas with ease and your message will resonate more powerfully.
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Overall, clarity isn’t just about choosing the right words; it’s also about structuring your sentences to guide readers naturally.
By focusing on subjects and verbs, you’ll craft prose that feels intuitive and compelling.
So, the next time you write, remember: Clear writing isn’t a gift; it’s a skill… and like any skill, it gets sharper with practice.
About The Dynamic Marketing Communiqué’s
“Wednesdays: Write with the Pen of the Masters”
Who doesn’t find content writing to be a skill that requires a lot of practice and effort?
In fact, many people may even find copywriting very intimidating.
However, you can be a good writer as long as you have the right tools. You won’t always get things right the first time, but with enough time and practice, you’ll get the hang of it!
When you write copy for any brand or for your company, your aim is to make an impact and…
… to get people to remember.
Getting people to remember means getting consumers to buy your product or avail of your service.
… and when you get your content to deliver the results you want, THAT is great copy!
Every Wednesday, we publish content based on tips and insights from the masters of content writing, copywriting, and storytelling.
Become more familiar with ways to write great copy that helps you gain ROI from your efforts, drive profitability, and achieve your business goals.
Learn time-tested tactics that better capture the attention of your target audience, and maximize the benefits of great copywriting.
Hope you find this week’s insights interesting and helpful.
Stay tuned for next Wednesday’s “Write with the Pen of the Masters!”
Cheers,
Dyane Diasanta
Senior Content Writer
Valens Dynamic Marketing Capabilities
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